Taking a Different Spin........

11/5/12--Monday--Day 23--The Chemo Diet
I spent many hours thinking about how I was going to tell my team.  I learned a lot over the weekend.  Keep it short, use humor, be direct, portray a positive attitude.  But how would I do it?  The answer came to me that morning.  First, we would celebrate Galina's return.  She had been out having a baby and this would be her first day back.  Then I would make the announcement.  We would be limited on how much time we had because the district office staff was celebrating birthdays that morning.  That would be perfect.  Happy news, sad news, celebration of birthdays.

But what words was I going to use.  I knew I had to keep it light-hearted.  I didn't want my team to see me cry.  Out of nowhere, it came to me.  I would tell them I had been struggling with my weight and had found a new diet to try--the chemo diet.  I told Greg about my idea.  He thought it was a terrible idea.  He was pretty depressed after yesterday and did not see the humor in what I was doing.  I told him I had to use humor.  It would help me stay strong as I told them.

I had planned a team meeting at 8, but was delayed because the MD Anderson Cancer Center intake office was calling.  I was worried I would run out of time.  Finally by 8:30 I was headed into the office.  Thirty minutes before birthdays.  Perfect.  Everything went as planned.  First we gave Galina her baby gifts.  Then I moved on to the subject at hand.  "You know I've been struggling with my weight for awhile, so I've decided to try a new diet, the chemo diet.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Friday afternoon."  There.  I said it.  This time as I said it, I faced six shocked faces.  Carol broke down and cried.  I saw the hurt and disbelief in Bryan's eyes.  I immediately began reassuring them with humor using the wig colors thing etc.  It seemed to ease the news a bit and it became easier for me when I saw a few smiles.  The more I talked about it, the more they seemed at ease.  I was so glad.  I wanted to keep my team confident and strong and let them know I would get through this and so would they.

Now I just had two more groups to go.  We moved into the lounge to celebrate birthdays.  I kept my smile on and talked like it was just an ordinary day.  Toward the end, I asked Dr. T, Tim, Henry and Gail if I could talk with them for just a few minutes.  After the group broke up, they all came to my office and I closed the door.  I told them I felt like they all cared for me as a person, so I wanted to share this with them face-to-face.  As soon as I told them I had breast cancer, my voice started to crack up and I began to get teary eyed.  It was the first time I didn't use a humorous approach, and it choked me up so I immediately threw in humor with the wigs.  I swallowed my lump and was able to continue.

I was proud of myself for being strong in both announcements.  My last work announcement went via an e-mail to the administrators.  Again I employed the power of humor to keep it light.  Most importantly, I told them I wanted them to know so there wouldn't be awkwardness when they saw me and they would know it was okay to ask me about my cancer.  I felt so good after telling all three groups.  Now the people I felt cared about me in my work environment all knew, and no one would wonder if I knew they knew.  We all knew.  And another weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Lunchtime
I had let most of my family know over the weekend, but still needed to let Greg's dad and sister know.  We decided to tell them out at the office at lunch.  Greg asked them to come for different reasons and I met them there.  I took the direct approach again and the surprise in their eyes was common for me now.  It was the same reaction of disbelief and shock.  There were immediate questions, who diagnosed it, what will they do, what are the options.  I reassured them we would get through this.  We hugged and I was back to work.  Again, I had a final relief that the story had been told.