11/12/12--Monday--Day 30--More Information, More Waiting
I spent the weekend escaping reality and getting things at home in better order. Brookie and I went grocery shopping Saturday morning, something we desperately needed to do, and we all three went to see the new James Bond movie, Skyfall. Sunday, Brooklyn and I went to church, again, something desperately needed, and then I cleaned the house, also desperately needed. Most of the weekend I completely ignored the cancer issue, consciously anyway. I decided not to blog because I wasn't thinking of this area of my life. Interestingly, however, I had trouble sleeping both nights. When my body finally settled down, my mind subconsciously began to race. I guess there is something to be said about writing, journaling, blogging, doing something to get your subconscious thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
After spending our first weekend at home, maybe since September, today brought another trip to Mesa, this time to see the radiology oncologist. Like Dr. Byrum, Dr. Grade showed genuine concern, true compassion, and amazing patience and understanding. SHE (batting two for two on female doctors) took as much time with us as we needed. She stayed patient and made us feel like every question we asked was one worthy of much thought and a thorough answer. Dr. Grade's job included making sure we completely understood radiation treatment as well as the differences between the lumpectomy/radiation treatment verses the mastectomy/no radiation treatment. We asked what seemed like a hundred questions, some about radiation, but many about the whole breast cancer situation and potential outcomes. We learned a ton! My biggest fear about radiation was eliminated. If I were to get cancer later in life somewhere else, I thought radiation would no longer be an option. I was relieved to find that you can have radiation again, only not in the same area. This was a HUGE relief.
As for the effects of radiation, Dr. Grade explained there is some fatigue. She also said the skin will get red, almost like a sunburn, and may even peal like a burn. That will be temporary and eventually go away. The skin may thicken as well and feel hard. How long that lasts is different for each patient. For some it is temporary; for other it is not. The radiation will need to be started after four weeks but before six weeks following surgery. On the calendar, that puts us right around January 2, an interesting way to bring in the new year.
As for the "chemo pill" which I may have to take for five years, we learned it is not chemo at all. Instead, it is hormone therapy, but different than what the regular person takes for menopause. It is a drug that attaches itself to cancer cells and prevents them from absorbing estrogen and therefore prevents the cancer cells from growing. The pill is called Tamoxifen, and will only work if the cancer they find is estrogen-fed, which they suspect it will be at this point.
When it was all said and done, between these first two appointments, we talked about a lot of possibilities. What really surfaced is the fact that until they get the cancer removed and the pathologists analyse it, we really are just guessing at what will be next. What we know now is we have to do the surgery, and we have chosen the lumpectomy/radiation treatment. Once the lumpectomy is done, the next step will be radiation if the cancer is shown not to be invasive. If this is the case, the cancer will be considered stage 0. If the pathologists find the cancer is invasive, because of the size of the lump, it will skip stage 1 and be considered stage 2 or higher. That is when chemotherapy may need to precede radiation.
No matter how many questions I ask, how much research I do, or how many people I talk to, what it has come down to is I am not in control of anything other than the choice between the two treatments, which I made today. Now it is just a matter of time and patience as we wait for the surgery and then the pathology report to dictate my next step in this journey. And while patience has never been my forte, it is going to be part of my life and this journey.
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