The Road to Full Recovery Is Finally Laid.......

1/23/13--Thursday--103 days--I'll Put One Foot in Front of the Other to Get Through This.

We woke earlier than our alarm this morning, probably because we were both a little anxious about the trip today. My post op appointments are today in Mesa. Showering and getting ready takes quite a bit more time right now because Greg has to help me with so much. I also wanted to make some eggs since I have no appetite and the thought of fast food makes me even more nausious.

I was taking small car rides trying to get used to the bumps, but haven't felt up to it since the day I got so sick and after I started walking. I snuggled into the passenger's seat surrounding myself with a pillow to support my arm made by a teacher friend, Wanda Evans, my trusted breast cancer blanket from Carol, a small travel blanket tucked into my stomach to hold it more secure, and wrapped all together with the snuggley football blanket Suzie Bertetto made for Greg that I've stolen. I was nervous leaving because we couldn't find the nausea pills we had used to make the trip home after the last two surgeries. They must have been left in the truck.

I had slept six hours and my bundle wrapping seemed to work well as the bumps weren't hurting near as much as they had before. In fact, I was actually feeling better than I have since the day of surgery. We made the trip with only a few ouches.

We saw Leona first. She taught us how to massage the arm to help it drain and prevent Lymphedema from happening. She also took measurements of movement. I felt a much better sense of what I could be doing once the drain comes out. From there we saw Dr. Matt. I felt a huge relief after he did a pelvic exam and said things look good and the leakage isn't from the vagina. He ordered labs to check for a bladder infection and said it may just be my bladder is in shock and needs some exercising. He confirmed all of the fatigue was normal, the pain by the mesh was normal, and even my crying spell was normal. My body is, after all, making huge adjustments right now, he said.

By now I was excited by how much better I was feeling. Here I had made the three hour trip over and undressed and dressed three times since waking up. It was definitely one of my best days yet. After Dr Matt left, we saw Byrum. She pulled all of the Steristrips off and said the wounds looked great. She loved that I had been walking a mile a day. They gave me an abdominal binder which should help me walk a little faster. She said she felt I could start chemo at any time. She also said I could go back to work when I felt like it. I won't see her for three months now. I thanked her for all of her work and help on my case. After she left, her assistant snipped the stitches around my drain tube and pulled it out. It was such a relief to have that thing out. It had become so sensitive. She also snipped a stitch by my port that had surfaced some.

Next we were off to see Dr. C and her assistant Michelle. "Well you're finally back. No more avoiding this with major surgeries and complications now," she laughed. She agreed with Byrum saying I could start chemotherapy as early as next week and I needed to start it at least within the next couple of weeks. Wow, next week! We never thought of it that fast. I guess we could start it next week. "Would I have fewer side effects if I waited until I healed more in a few weeks," I asked? "Nope. It makes no difference," she assured us. She explained that this chemo is the lighter one given weekly and really doesn't have a lot of bad side effects. "Wow, next week," I kept thinking. Why not? Why would we wait? Let's get this thing going. I'm sick of waiting and I finally have a chance to take some control back over my life. That's all it took and everything started moving. She explained that we would see Michelle next week and start labs and the first chemo. Then we would come each Thursday and do labs and chemo and would see her on the fourth week. We would continue to come for the following four weeks doing labs and chemo and then see Michelle again. Then we would come each week for the next four weeks and see her again. They explained that this first phase of chemo would take just over an hour to administer so plan two and a half with labs. At the end if this 12 week phase would be the start of the next phase which is a stronger chemo, but only given once every three weeks for the next three months.

I quickly started counting. Weekly chemo would take us through April 18th. Every three weeks chemo would take us to the end of June. A couple of weeks off before radiation would put us moving here at the end of July and finishing with this whole ugly cancer business by the end of August! Wow the thought was almost unbelievable. Was that truly a light at the end of the tunnel? Was there finally a plan to conquer this?

They left and sent in the pharmacist, Mike. He explained all of the different possible side effects, but they were really minimal other than the hair loss of course. Bone achenes and fatigue were the most common ones. Nausea was less common with this form of chemo. He and Dr. C both seemed to really minimize the effects of this first three month phase. At the same time, they both said we weren't going to discuss the second three month phase until we get to it, leaving Greg and I both thinking there is probably much more to that one. Either way, this is something we have to do so it really doesn't make a difference. I think Greg started to become overwhelmed. I was cramping quite a bit by then so we were both ready to leave. They gave us a binder full of information on chemo to read, my note to return back to work when I felt up to it, and reminded me to go to the lab to do the bladder infection test.

Before leaving, Lisa, another assistant came in and outlined all of the appointments coming up on the first four week period including a final follow up with Dr. Matt. Then we were finally free to leave. After a quick stop at the lab we were headed to have lunch with Preston. I was cramping a ton but really wanted to keep going since it was the first day I had felt this close to normal. After lunch and two more stops we headed home. On the road Dr. Byrum called reporting the labs showed no bladder infection, thank goodness. Now I just have to exercise everything back into condition. The scheduler also called and scheduled all of the appointments for doctors and labs and chemo through the end of February so it is all set.

There is a lot to process, a lot to prepare for, and a lot to figure out. If I have this good of a day tomorrow and over the weekend, I may try to go back to work at least half days next week. I have lots of massages and exercises I need to do on my arm and my abdomen. And most importantly I have to find enough energy to keep walking and build my strength and endurance back up. Dr. C said walking through the chemo will be very important as well so I just have to make sure that stays a priority. So for now we'll see how tonight and tomorrow goes after this long trip. Knowing its okay to rub and massage my incisions and my abdomen may help this cramping go away. I know one thing for sure. After all of this pain, I am SO glad to be moving on to the next phase where at least I can work through the pain. And the most encouraging and uplifting thing of all is there is finally a path to full recovery laid. That alone will help me keep putting one foot in front of the other as I move through this.