Back On Track ...........

3/17/13--Sunday--Day 155--So Far, So Good

It's been three days since chemo #6 after taking a week off.  While some of my toes remain numb, the good news is, they haven't become worse.  My last two toes on my left foot and my little toe on my right foot are still numb.  The balls of both feet still tingle with a numbing sensation, the left worse than the right, and while the numbness has become a bit more intense, it hasn't spread, thank goodness.

Friends have played an important part of getting through this emotionally challenging week of realizations.  Last weekend, our good friends, Mike and Suzie came from Albuquerque, then Wednesday we drove over the night before chemo and spent the evening with our good friends, Paul and Diane.  Both were much needed.  When you're uptight, anxious, or down, sometimes you just need to spend time with people who care.  Even though they can't really fix anything, or do anything, just being around them makes you smile and feel better.  Talking, relaxing, and laughing did a world of good to change my outlook.

We were anxious to see Dr. Cianfrocca on Thursday even if it meant having to be at labs by 8:15AM.  Her explanation of the numbness was basically, the numbness isn't always permanent, but there is no way to guarantee that it will go away.  So the new game is, we have to stop the Taxol BEFORE the numbness gets to a state that would inhibit my mobility should the numbness be permanent.  There is a different drug, Taxotere, which we could switch to, but Dr. C said it wasn't as effective and it had other bad side effects so it was Dr. C's last choice of options.  She wanted me to stay on Taxol, if at all possible, because it is the best drug to treat breast cancer.  She explained that in clinical trials, Taxol had been shown to be the most effective drug when given in 12 weekly doses; however, after the study, researchers amended the study showing that as long as the 12 doses were given within a 16 week period, it was just as effective.  So, what does all of this mean?  Well, first, it means skipping a week between chemo #5 and #6 didn't hurt anything.  It also means that should my feet start to go numb again, I could skip up to three more times and still finish the 12 treatments within 16 weeks.  Dr. C suggested we go ahead with chemo #6 at the same strength, and see how the week goes.  If the numbness comes back, which so far it hasn't become as bad as it was, then she will look at possibly lowering the dose this next week.

So after labs and seeing Dr. C, we headed upstairs to start chemo.  Cheryl was my nurse once again.  All went well with the infusion, although I did get a little sleepy.  On the way home, we stopped for a few minutes to see my grandma, aunt, and dad then headed home.  Friday morning I went to work as normal, but by the afternoon, I was struggling.  When I left work, I came home and laid on the floor putting my feet up on the couch hoping to help drain some of the poisons from my feet since they had been down all day.  While laying there, I progressively got worse.  I was exhausted, my body ached, the palms of my hands burned (that was a new one), and I was nauseous.  Greg made me take a nauseous pill and I was finally able to get some toast down and then went to bed.  Saturday morning I woke up and felt fine.  I was glad my feet hadn't become more numb.  I worked in the yard most of the day with Greg.  I had to take it slow, take lots of breaks, and drink tons of water, but I managed to work the whole day.  Sunday I woke up feeling fine once again.  I worked completing small tasks around the house most of the day with no problems.  Once again, it just proves that the effects from all of this are unpredictable as to when they hit.  I was thankful I only had a bad day on Friday afternoon this week.

I laughed telling Greg my body appreciated feeling good and having the week off last week so now it is rebelling after starting the Taxol again.  We are both keeping our fingers crossed that the numbness will not spread or get any worse.  After talking to Dr. C and putting everything into perspective, I've come to accept that if I have to live with some neuropathy for the rest of my life in order to truly kill the cancer that may still be in my body, at least I'll be alive and it will be okay.  I know that when we took a break from the Taxol, some of the numbness subsided, and I am keeping a positive belief that when we stop the Taxol all together after another six treatments, the numbness will eventually go away completely.  So while I am still on that difficult back side of the marathon, I have refocused on why I'm running it--a perspective that has definitely put me Back on Track!