We left the imaging building and drove to the front where the hospital was located. Because we were already checked in, we went straight up to the second floor where the operatingroom was. "I hear this is where the party is going to be," I said to the receptionists. They asked if we brought the balloons. I told them I would take my margarita with salt and frozen. They laughed.
It was around 9:30 so I figured we had at least an hour to wait. The procedure wasn't scheduled until 10:30. We settled in at a table set off a bit in the back. My joking spirit might be offensive to some who were there in a less humorous mood. A friend of ours, Jan, was there. Coincidently she had another friend there that same time having a liver biopsy. Just as we were gathering enough chairs for everyone to sit down, the nurse came out to get me. Surprisingly, they let us all go back.
I went down the hall and changed into a gown, handed them my "sample" and made my way back to the curtain area where my support party waited. I climbed into the bed, making me officially the patient. I offered to switch places with any of them but the nurse said my bracelet made me the lucky one. As they started preparing me, Mike and Suzie went back to the waiting area leaving just my dad and Greg to keep me company.
The area was bustling with activity from the minute I climbed in bed. Two nurses were making sure I knew my name and birthday again and that it matched my bracelet. An aide was putting circulation stocking on me. My surgeon and her assistant came in. She explained the procedure and was as confident as ever it wasn't going to be a big deal. She told Greg someone would let him know once the surgery actually started and she would come out when it was over. I brought out my presents and gave her, her assistant, and both of the nurses my candy bar snowmen. They all laughed. Next was the anesthesiologist and his assistant. I explained my RSD from my toe surgery, which I was told to do any time I was put under. He listened carefully, asked a question or two and seemed settled. I gave him a snowman and he couldn't have been more please. He said it was the first present he had ever received from a patient in 23 years. I smiled.
The IV went in and the operating room nurse came in. Greg gave her a hard time since she wore a Denver Bronco's bandana under her head scrub. She told him it was a good thing he wasn't going into surgery or he would wake up with Bronco horses drawn all over him. It was time to go. Greg and my dad gave me a kiss and a hug and I began getting woozy. "You already snuck some of that medicine in on me didn't you?" I asked the nurse. He admitted he had. I was determined to stay awake in the operating room. "How cool would that be if I could watch the whole thing?" Guess they didn't really want my company. I told them I was surprised they didn't have music on. They asked what kind I wanted. "Country," I said and that's the last thing I remember.
I woke up as they were wheeling me into the recovery room. I was shocked that I had pain. Tears were rolling out of my eyes. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm crying." The nurse said it was the anesthesia. I asked how my hair looked. She laughed and said perfect. I asked if Greg could come in and she said not for a bit still. She asked how the pain was on a scale of one to ten and I told her a six. She gave me some medicine. Jan peeked around the curtain. She had been let back in with her friend and snuck in to see me. It was nice having someone I knew there since they wouldn't let Greg come back. She held my hand, assured me my hair looked fine and stayed for a bit before the nurse scurried her away.
I looked down at my chest area. My gown seemed pretty indented. I was scared to look inside, but I had to. I lifted the neckline of the gown and peaked in. I was shocked at the indention. It looked like a crater. Maybe it was my eyes--I never have had good depth perception. Maybe it was the medicine. I looked again. Nope, it was a pretty deep indention and it ran way more than the 4 centimeters she had estimated, but I knew it was bigger. That's the one thing I tried to tell her from the beginning. I laid there trying not to worry about it. I tried to focus on the cancer being out--that was the important thing. I wanted Greg in there with me, but the nurse still said not until I was ready to go. I ate ice chips and watched how busy the place was. I read the wall board--there was my name LINDSEY with my nurse, CHERYL along with all the other patient name's on the board. Cheryl shuffled between me and another patient next to me. Soon she asked how I felt and I said I was ready to dance so she said she would go get a wheel chair and Greg after I got dressed.
I sat up on the edge of the bed and dropped my gown. Yep, it was pretty con-caved. Looked like I had been left in the mammogram machine way too long. There were sterile strips covering the incision as well as the incision under my arm where she had taken the lymphoids. There were lines and markings on my breast where she had drawn guides to do the surgery. I got dressed, Greg came in. I asked him what the doctor had said. She had explained to him that the cancer was much bigger than she estimated--I tried to tell her that from the beginning. She had to make the incision larger than she expected to get it out. Greg said she was expecting the size of about a golfball and a half but it ended up being more like four golfballs. There was a lot of firm tissue and she had to cut all the way down to the chest cavity. There were two sentinel nodes that turned blue from the radioactive dye so she took both of those to be tested. She felt she took a large margin around the cancer and felt she got it all. I showed Greg inside my shirt. "That's not too bad," he said. I didn't know if he was lying or being optimistic or both.
They wheeled me out to the waiting room. I smiled as I passed the receptionists and told them they forgot my margarita. They laughed and wished me a speedy recovery. I hugged my dad when I saw him. He held flowers Brooklyn and Trina had sent. Mike and Suzie greeted me with hugs and smiles. As I got to the truck and started to climb in, I thanked my dad for being there and hugged him again. Crocodile tears kept welling up in my eyes for some reason. The nurse said is was the medication. I took some pain medicine as soon as I got in the truck, and some nausea medication as we started down the road home.
My doctor said I could go home as long as we stopped every 50 minutes and walked for 10. I stayed sitting up as we drove out of town. Our first stop was in Superior. I walked up and down the sidewalk of the rest area with Greg on one side and Mike on the other. We got back in the truck and Greg said my lips were blue, very blue. I sucked on my breathing ball 10 times, which I was also supposed to do every hour. I dozed a bit through the mountains, but remained upright in fear of being more nauseated. Second stop was in Globe. Greg fueled while Mike and Suzie walked me around. I felt good. It was nice to stretch my legs. But then my ears started ringing. "Wow, my ears are sure ringing." I remember saying it a second time and that was the last thing I remember. I guess I passed out. Mike helped me go down gracefully while Suzie fell with me protecting my surgery side. I remember waking up flat on the asphalt with Mike yelling at me. I laid there for a bit then climbed back into the truck. I did the breathing thing again and just as Greg got in the truck, the paramedics showed up behind us, sirens blaring. I guess someone saw me collapse and called them. Oh my goodness. How embarrassing. Greg took off and left Mike and Suzie to explain that we were fine. Our last walk stop after Bylas went without incident.
Finally we arrived home. I took another nausea pill and climbed into the recliner. I was freezing so my caretakers covered me in a warming blanket and other blankets, gave me Brooklyn's Raggedy Ann doll, refilled my icepack and surrounded me with love the rest of the evening.
I was relaxed, felt safe, happy to be home, and most of all grateful it was out of my body finally!
Godspeed.
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