It has been such an incredible 24 hours and I am still smiling and celebrating every minute I am awake! Such a burden has been lifted from Greg and I both, and it is the first time we have truly felt this happy in 347 days!
After ringing the bell yesterday, we spent a few minutes with those who had come to celebrate with us. Juanita, my friend from the lab, made the perfect cake--a boobie cake--and presented it to us, which was super sweet. Betsy, a second floor nurse who has been out on maternity leave, returned just in time to help us celebrate along with nurses Tia, Cheryl, Heather, Carolyn, Sue, Dr. Grade, and so many more. There must have been 30 people there altogether. It felt wonderful and was exciting to have so many there as we finished our race. It truly was like crossing the finish line of a very long marathon, which was something that kept me going throughout this long and challenging fight.
From the hospital, Bob, Wanda, Charlene, my dad, Preston, Diane, Paul, Greg and I went to IHOP to celebrate. Greg and I were both so excited, neither of us could hardly eat but it was great to visit and laugh and take in the excitement from everyone. After saying goodbye, we decided to celebrate more by going to the Apple store and buying new iPhones :)
Several hours later, we picked up Sierra, our dog, and headed home. As we drove into town, Greg said, "It feels nice coming home for the first time not really knowing when we will be going back to Mesa," and he was right. It was the first time of feeling completely finished. As we pulled onto our street, there were colored flags and signs lining the corrals saying "Welcome", "Home", "Greg and Susan", "Today is the First Day of the rest of your lives" and they were right. It was truly a fresh start. We were off of 'pause' and on 'play' as we were free to decide what to do now, where to go, with no restrictions to plan around.
We pulled into the driveway to a huge sign lining the carport saying, "You Made It To The Finish Line!" How absolutely sweet for our friends to be so thoughtful. I knew our neighbors Kristi Fertig and Gayrene Claridge, our friend Susie Case, and my friends and co-workers Carol Elders and Stephanie Saldana were responsible. They had been our cheerleaders and helpers all the way through this. We walked in the door to even more surprises. There were more Finish Line flags draped across the kitchen, and signs lining the windows, "Kiss Cancer Goodbye", "Cancer Does Not Live Here Anymore!", "Cancer Free Zone!", "No More Chemo", "My Friend Is A Cancer Survivor!", "My Friend Kicked Cancer's Butt!". What an amazing feeling. It felt so good to be celebrating. The counter had balloons and a great elephant cake (I collect elephants), along with a sign letting us know there was meat, fruit, and veggies in the frig. And that wasn't all! There was a menu of meals they and others (Sue Bonefas and Barbara Haralson) would be bringing for the next four nights so we could get settled in without worrying about shopping. And to top it all off, they had completely cleaned my house--vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bathrooms, the whole works. I have never been more grateful for a kind act in my life. These wonderful people will never know what a difference they made in helping us celebrate, feel completely relieved and experience such gratefulness.
Greg and I soaked everything in and then collapsed on the couch as we tried to process the feeling of being truly free from cancer. I don't think we realized the huge burden and pressure we had been under until it was completely lifted. We were both floating.
This morning, we woke after enjoying our own bed and the idea of being here to stay. In the shower, we peeled off the last eight remaining green tags from radiation and everything looked better immediately. While the area on the side of my breast, under my arm, and underneath my breast remains black and blue and peeling, having the tags gone just looked better as it symbolized being free from any more treatments. Some of my skin came off with some of the tags, but it signified a time for healing to begin.
Soon I was off to work looking forward to settling back in at my office. As I walked into my office and opened the door, there my team stood to surprise me as I crossed under yet another Finish Line sign. There were flowers, more signs, and many happy faces in my office and it felt amazing not only to be back, but to have so many people happy to see me and welcome me back.
This was a long race and I plan on spending a long time celebrating my finish. The next celebration coming up is the Cardinals breast cancer awareness game. I received final details today concerning the events. I learned that next Monday, we will actually have dinner with some of the Cardinals players in celebration of being a survivor. Then on Thursday, we will practice with the cheerleaders for the game on Sunday. Finally, on Sunday, I am excited to have the opportunity to end this journey where it started, on the Cardinals field during halftime. One year ago as I watched the breast cancer survivors on that field, I never imaged myself being one. But I knew, if I ever was one, I would want to be as brave as those women were, dancing on a field, bald or with little hair, celebrating surviving in front of 70,000 people. And now, here I am, about to do just that. I am lucky that several of our friends are going to attend the game in my honor as well as Preston and my dad. And I can't wait to celebrate being a survivor on that field. You see, in some ways, I believe that game last year saved my life. I found my lump 16 hours after attending and watching those ladies. Maybe, subconsciously, I looked for something I might not have without being there. I only hope the sponsors of this event, Cigna Health Care, realize the difference this can make for someone, and the difference it made for me.
I will post another entry following the Cardinals events, and then, on October 19th, the day before my birthday, Greg and I are hosting a "Kissing Cancer Goodbye" party. I want everyone who can come to attend as we cut down that Pink Tree. So many people have done so much for us, and we want to end this journey with a final celebration of being alive with all of those who have done so much for us. Please mark your calendars to be part of our celebration. Following that, I will make one last post before ending my blog. This blog and the followers of the blog have helped me through this horrific journey and trial in my life and I am so glad I was able to use it to stay positive and focused on winning this battle. But my journey is over, the race I have won and it is time to move on and start Living Life More Than I Ever Have Before.
This is wonderful to read! What time is the party? I would love to come but I think it may be my nieces bday party. :-(
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!! Shirley
ReplyDeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to go back and reread your blog this morning. I cried again. I think the mention of your birthday was reassuring because you did reach that next birthday after such a year! I miss not seeing and visiting with you. We always have the nicest visits. I hope you are having a wonderful week. I would be surprised if it was bad. Except, your weeks can now be the ordinary stresses and inconveniences. May you have an ordinary but spectacular day in life! Love you!